10 Things NOT to Do When You Divorce.
The divorce process can be a particularly vulnerable and emotional time. Don’t make these common mistakes.
As any person who’s gone through a divorce can inform you that, the process is rarely easy. Tensions run high and couples also make poor decisions in the heat of the moment.
Given the peak of financial, practical and emotional details that have to be sorted, it’s not amazing so many couples end something making critical mistakes on the road to divorce. However there are several things you should do,or more specifically not do, to lessen the chance you’ll regret your decisions later on.
When filing for divorce, avoid the following 10 points.
1. Don’t Get Pregnant.
Having a baby during your divorce complicates a lot of things and could even hinder you right to divorce. In November 2004, a Spokane County ,Wash judge refused to allow Shawnna Hughes, a pregnant woman, to divorce her abusive husband. Hughe’s husband is not the father of her child. But because Hughes became pregnant during the divorce proceedings, state law presumes Hughes’ husband to be the father of her child born up to 300 days after her divorce. The judge refused to grant Hughes a divorce because he was bothered there would be no father who will take financial responsibility for the child. Many states now grant single parents the same rights as married ones,having a child when you’re in marital suspended can be problematic.
2. Don’t Forget to Change Your Will
Getting a divorce does not automatically revoke a will.If you want to avoid your soon to be ex-spouse from receiving the money and privileges granted them in your will, you need to update your will .You can redo a will anytime. But if your death occurs before you are granted a divorce, and you have left nothing for your spouse, they can sue and recover part of your property .
3. Don’t Cancel the Probability of Collaborative Divorce or Mediation.
In a collaborative divorce you consult professional attorneys ,divorce counsellors and coaches to divide the estate and manage emotions. Some experts believe that in collaborative divorce the attorney, divorce coaches, counsellors and therapist who engage in divorce are not really experts and cost much money and time.But the major point with collaborative divorce have explained that it is more cooperative and less adversarial than regular divorce process.
Median is different. Only a third party professional, a divorce mediator, helps you and your wife or husband reach a mutual agreement. Mediation is more for a continuous process than a one time intervention. Though lawyers are not generally allowed into mediation sessions, you can take help of a lawyer during the process to confirm you are getting the correct result.
4. Don’t Sleep With Your Lawyer.
It is easy to make close relationships with a person who is always on your side. It is a mistake too. Some country bann sexual relations in between the client and lawyer.
Some countries allow the sexual relationship between attorney and client before the case to continue the relationship. In other case, sexual relationship of client with attorney may compromise the attorney––client communication becase the client might be charged with adultery for the unlawful activity.
5. Don’t Take It out on the Kids
To deal with divorce, children need a supportive environment.
Minimize the amount you talk about the process.
Refocus your energy so you can attend the school and after school events, help them with home work, and take them out once in a while to the movies or the zoo
6. Don’t Refuse to See a Therapist
When dealing with divorce, seeing a therapist can help you to get through the range of emotions that you will experience.
Before you become extremely depressed or angry, it is good idea to get help.
A therapist is a professional who can show you how to relax, how to talk with your kids and how to remain calm in court.
A therapist can help you to find out how to become self-sufficient.
7. Don’t Wait Until After the Holidays
We already know that the holidays are not going to be difficult, so why to wait ?
Divorce lawyers also see an increase in clients before, during and after Christmas.
Before the holidays, it is also easier to get used to an empty home. If you wait through the session, you may destroy any changes for an amicable split and wind up hashing out your differences in court.
8. Don’t Forget About Taxes
Overall, the person who is awarded custody of the children obtained the house. Whereas the house may not be the best deal.
But before declaring yourself king or queen of your block, remember, single people are not allowed to shelter as many capital gains from taxes. Stocks can also be at issue. Newly purchased stocks may be more desirable because they will cost you less in capital gains taxes.
9. Don’t Settle Early
It doesn’t not mean you should forfeit your financial security. Because you just want out of your marriage immediately.
Make multiple copies of your important financial documents such as pension statements, tax forms,brokerage and mutual fund statements, credit card statements, and other records. It will make you aware of what you own and even what you owe.
Ensure that you and your children will continue to have health insurance during and after the divorce proceedings.
You may want to hire a professional mediator or an attorney, if this is not possible. If you decide to retain legal counsel, don’t forget to bring three things to the first meeting with your lawyer so you can access what you will need once separated.
10. Don’t Increase Your Debt
Divorce is expensive. To set up a new household, you will need money . Though it may be hard to make ends meet, you should get used to having less now.
Remember before you receive your first payment of alimony or even your share of the marital property., Your legal bills and court costs may come due.
While it may seem stressful, the freedom you will enjoy down the line will be worth the struggle
One Final Note
Putting aside strong emotions in favour of cooperating with your spouse and managing the thornier issues of your separation with a calm and level head will definitely pay off in the long run. Both of you will make wiser decisions and come out with the process with fewer bruises.